"The match was described as 'manly but fair'."

In David Cage's debut game Omikron: The Nomad soul, you play as yourself; possessing characters in the game. Probably. So far, at least.

Anyway, as soon as you arrive in the apartment of the man you are possessing, you may urinate in the bathroom. After you zip his Robocop cosplay up, his girlfriend arrives home.

You inform her that you are not, in fact, her boyfriend. But it's time for some very awkward dry humping nevertheless. In her defence, I wouldn't have believed you either.

Strangely for a David Cage game there is no post-coitus shower scene. Indeed, you don't want to shower! What the fuck?

Now that your bladder and testicles have been relieved, it's time to explore; smelling of God-knows-what. As you enter the first circle of hell, it's not long before you begin to wish you were possessing a body with some new possibilities. Or at least two big ones staring you in the face. And maybe a third: showering in a more suitably David-Cage-shower-scene body?

As you leave the first circle of hell and enter the second, you discover that Minos punishes the lustful with angular dildos...

omikron 7.jpg

..and a spasmodic David Bowie.

I am sorry Dante, but there are more circles to explore yet.